Amazon, Microsoft, et al. don't care about you and would never call you.THESE ARE IMPOSTORS. Shut down your computer using the power button and DO NOT TALK TO THEM.If you've let them break into your computer, shut it down immediately and call us for a disaster cleanup.
I was told I needed Chrome!
On day one of Web Design 101, the first thing I learned was, "Make sure your website works with all browsers."
Unfortunately, many poorly designed websites nowadays are only compatible with Chrome.
Instead of fixing this, a lot of banks and other companies are wantonly telling people to install Chrome, unaware of its hazards.
Chrome is safe from conventional bad guys, but harvests all your behavior and sends it to Google.
If you have to use some poorly designed site that requires Chrome, then use its cousins Brave or Chromium instead, which respect your privacy.
My computer or Internet stopped working!
Clients are required to reboot everything they own at least once per week and before calling us. Rebooting solves 90% of all issues!!!
My WiFi is unreliable!
Chances are you were hit by the Fake WiFi Scandal: It's a rental router that doesn't work more than 10 feet away.
(Chances also are your brother-in-law tried to add a repeater, to no avail. It's like having a faulty water pipe and thinking a new faucet will help.)We recommend and install Real Routers that actually work. TP-Link is currently the best brand.If you enjoy paying extra for an unreliable router, grab a Linksys or a mesh router.
I was told to use a VPN!
VPNs are a good thing, but are wholly unsuitable for consumers:
-You won't be able to use many sites.
-VPNs cannot protect you from most spyware, such as Google History.- VPNs are pushed desperately by the likes of Norton and Verizon, who hope you don't realize you're already secure thanks to HTTPS.-That being said, we'll gladly charge you to install it, and gladly charge you to remove it once you realize all this.
My computer's slow!
Do I need a new one?
You usually don't. We can make most computers twice as fast as new.
If you must buy a new one, we protect you from the new cloud services that suck your documents and photos without your knowledge.
My hard drive died and I have no backup!
Yep, 99% of people have no backup, or thought they did but it turned out to be useless. Unfortunately many people don't call us until after a disaster. In these cases, we can send a physically damaged hard drive to a recovery specialist. Call The Clone Store and tell them you know us. They've been around since 1981 and are usually cheaper than the CA cleanrooms.
In Rochester, call POD Computers and ask for a Marc Special.
Elsewhere, get any Dell or Lenovo.
(Anywhere, avoid HP.)
Don't turn it on until we can protect you from OneDrive.
I want a Smart TV!
No you don't. Smart TVs record what you say and what you watch.If you buy/have one, make sure it's NOT connected to the Internet.Then, buy the simplest Roku possible.Advanced users can check out our Streamplicity box, coming soon.
My phone bill is insane!
If you use Verizon or Spectrum Mobile, switch to anyone else ever.My favorite is T-Mobile's Secret Connect service, which is incredibly cheap for domestic use, or their Bare Essentials which is more than any human could ever need. Some Mail-order services are: Consumer Cellular, Patriot Mobile, Charity Mobile, Tracfone. Use my coupon code KFIHZXT to get $10 off at US Mobile.
I want a Mac!
New Apple products are no longer upgradeable or even repairable. After ~4 years, you just put your $1500 computer in the garbage like a paper cup. Consider Windows or Mint instead.If you must, then: Avoid the iMac and just get a Mac Mini for half the price. Don't turn it on until we set it up, so we can protect you from iCloud Drive.
I need a Smartphone!
If you enjoy a phone with unremovable factory spyware, and periodic update attack torpedoes that slow it down, grab a Samsung! Seriously people, there are thousands of brands of phones out there, all of which respect you more than Samsung or Apple.
I'm sick of robocalls on my landline!
Coming Soon: Ask your local Computer Exorcist to install our landline call blocker and you'll never have a robocall ever again.
What is Mint?
Mint is a magical Operating System that virtually bulletproofs almost any PC, so you'll never have to worry about security.Call us to see if you qualify for Mint.If you have a spare computer in your closet that's less than 10 years old, chances are we can Mint it for you. Otherwise, you can buy a Mint PC from a vendor we recommend:
POD Computers (Rochester)Computers Express (eBay store)
I need a printer!
Brother is the best, HP is the worst.
Laser printers last MUCH longer and their toner is MUCH cheaper than ink. If you don't need color, black & white laser printers are very affordable.
Call us to protect you from the spyware that comes with all new printers.
My kids gave me Alexa!
If you enjoy having Amazon record everything you say in your home, we'll gladly set it up for you at double rates!
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